Your porn magazines are too old and far too familiar to give you a hard boner? No worries, matey - you can always do things like our american fellow, Tyler Engelhard, who phoned the police emergency services to report that his parents need to be arrested. Why is that? Just because the man, 21 years of age, had a VERY high level of hornyness. He actually declared to the deputy in charge, who arrived at the place of the crime – a woman – that he wanted “to see a hawt chick”.
Americans are weird. And not totally sane. I recommend, in such cases, a high dose of Ichigo Mashimaro, and voila (please notice my exquisite French), the boner is gone. After some hard and productive work. For once, I shall not provide you with too much wanking material, because I think you people should learn to sort that out all by yourselves.

Yeah, I know this is not Japan-related, but the dude is an idiot, and idiot equals funneh.