This calls for a "WTF napkin"... Surely, you've heard of - and quite possibly seen - the classic anime, Akira. It's only one of the most influential (and brain damaging) animations in history, after all (does anyone actually have the balls to say they understood it?). So let me ask you - rhetorically - what the fuck are the Americans thinking, adapting it into live-action movies?! Indeed, fellow lolicons, the unthinkable was revealed by Variety (via ANN), who say that Warner Bros. and Leonardo DiCaprio's money laundering production company Appian Way will be adapting Akira into two movies, the first of which is to premiere in the summer of 2009.

The way the filmmakers describe them is as "Blade Runner" meets "City of God". But with a cheesy hollywoodian twist, because there won't be any more "Neo-Tokyo", like in the original manga / anime. Oh no, to make things even more perplexing, the upcoming Akira movies will take place in "New Manhattan", a metropolis that was rebuilt after being destroyed 31 years ago. And hell knows what other changes they have in mind... Well, unless they decide to substitute that filthy biker gang with some hawt lolis, I really don't see any reason for this crap-film being made.