November. Texas. US of A. Besides the fact that an enormous meteorite will strike that place down and tear it to pieces, Optical Entertainment Network (also known as OEN – Officially Enlarged Nachos) will launch in Houston, becoming the first television signal provider to offer both Anime Network and Funmination Channel. Fascinating. This will be a grand day for all texans, who can now stop raping their cows, chickens, and other animals that roam freely through their courtyards, and start taking a more serious look at the option of having sex with cats, bunnies and dogs. We all learn that from watching anime. And don’t tell them about little girls, or they will start stepping on my turf. And I don’t like that. The two televisions find themselves in a strange position, having to compete with each other for the first time. But they say otherwise:

"It's good for the anime industry and will help grow awareness of anime," says Funimation's Jeff Dronen. "It only helps having 2 channels offering anime exclusively."

1ST ANIMEKON UNDERAGED TRANSLATOR SAYS: “What the hell are those retards doing, trying to get us off the market? Hell, we’ll throw so much ecchi on the screen, that even established lolicons will need to take a break. From wanking.”

"We don't see it that way. I think it's a sign of the times of just how popular anime has become and I think there is plenty of room for everyone.", McFeeley said.

2ND ANIMEKON UNDERAGED TRANSLATOR SAYS: “He can shove it up his ass. With glue, peppermint and pickles.”