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The ninth sequel to the by_now_pretty_famous Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, entitled The Surprise Sex with of Suzumiya Haruhi, has been pushed back from a release date in June 1, to a galaxy far far away. The reason called for this move involves "various circumstances", though they refuse to elaborate about this (or to tell us about Mikuru's new underwear wardrobe). Alongside this, the tenth volume of Ghost Hunt was also delayed, from May 25 to the same galaxy far far away. Ghost Hunt is surprisingly good, actually.
Hello, my name is Puchiko and I have issues. Nobody loves me, not even my god damn mom, all guys and gals at school bully me for no reason. Well, no reason at all. So that is why I have decided to shave my legs, put on a Stalin costume, and jump off o building while singing WMCA. This, my friends, is the result of some survey among high school students in Japan - it seems that one in four is suffering from depression. But, by all that is mighty, how can you possibly live in Japan and suffer from depression? The Health Ministry says it's because of bullying, or because they are being isolated. At the said survey, questions like "Does life have no meaning to you?" topped the cake, while all kids hurried to give plenty of emo answers.
A total of 557 students answered all the questions. Of them, 24.6 percent or 137 students -- 59 boys and 78 girls -- might suffer from depression.

Not to mention that depression leads to suicide. OK, since we are so lovingly attached to Japanese people due to certain... conveniences, I have made a list of things to do to evade depression and to, eventualy, get away from a Higurashi-like scenario (which, no matter how lolicious is, becomes surprisingly sick after the first three buckets of tears blood).

1. Download pr0n. For beginners, any kind of pr0n will do. Be it scatophilic, be it normal or lesbian, no matter - just get your God damn porn. You'll figure out what to do with it in about 5 minutes of loneliness.
2. Install World of Warcraft. If you are a guy or girl with absolutely no personal life, this will not hurt your schedule one bit. It's a fun game, you'll get to meet all these kinds of nice gold farmers, bots and gold sellers, most of them asian, so you can „ni hao" them all day long. Then, you can roll a Hunter and climb on buildings, one-shotting lowbies just for the fun of it. Or you can roll a Paladin and become even more imbecile than you are right now.
3. GET A FUCKING JOB. I'd link Wikipedia for the definition of this strange world, but I'm to lazy to do it. Long story short, working involves doing stuff for other people that spit in your ear, stuff that, eventually, earns you money. With money you can, of course, buy even more porn.
4. Start drinking. My personal favourite. I allways drench myself in alcohol whenever I get the chance, be it in front of the TV, with friends (another Wikipedia-worthwhile word), or while masturbating on some random underaged anime chick. Au contraire to what evil people tell you, alcohol does *NOT* affect your liver in any way, it is actually a benefic toxin substance that prolongs your youth and makes your penis bigger. Or your vagina more delicious.
5. Become an otaku. Easiest way to avoid depression is to be depressed and not to give a shit about it. Whenever you feel like jumping in hot lava, just take a look at that gorgeous Chiyochan poster on the wall, feel the boner and *poof!* depression vanishes almost as fast as the credibility of George „I've got Allzeihmer" Bush. Not to mention all those illegal terrabytes of anime you can downoad via the internets.

There now, see? Easy as pie. With just a little patience, Japan's teenagers can live a day or two longer.

LATER EDIT:
The name Puchiko was randomly chosen. It has absolutely no correlation whatsoever with the fact that my pedo comrade's World Of Warcraft character is named that way. Or with the fact that he plays a paladin. Or that he has crappy gear and couldn't keep me alive even if Chi chan's life was at stake.
Browsing through the intarweb, I found a nice article about the differences between the Japanese otaku culture, and the so-called Korean otaku culture. I actually laughed so hard that I almost closed my loli porn tabs in Firefox. Here are some bits:
Koreans not adapting to the concept of moe - the Japanese otaku's buzzword for whatever turns them on. "There's still a concept close to moe in Korean otaku culture. There's a word 'haakku,' which means to get excited, or feel good. But this word doesn't really apply to the gaming or cosplay worlds here, yet it does apply to kinky stuff,"

Japan - Korea: 1-0. Not adapting the concept of moe should end up with a death penalty. Prior to that, torture should be in order.
Korean adult entertainment world expert Chan Nan Woo from Jake Media tells Weekly Playboy. "In Korea, Lolicon is outlawed and maid cafes were a flop."

Japan - Korea: 2-0. Lolicon and outlawed should not be used in the same sentence. EVER. Maid Cafes are probably the best thing that happened to the world since the descovery of fermentation.
"Korean sex services are straight shooters. They tell you what you can do and that's what you pay for," Chan says. "For Koreans, it's a totally foreign concept to sit with a pretty woman all night and get nothing other than small talk like in Japanese nightclubs, or the maid clubs where you're not allowed to touch the women at all. There's no way these places would ever become popular."

Japan - Korea: 2-1. While I do fancy drooling all night long over some asian young ladies dressed up like maids, I'd surely like to pinch their nose a couple of times. And various other parts of their bodies.
There are many Japanese otaku who shun real women because they find them "scary" or "difficult" compared to virtual reality girls, but again Korean otaku find such an idea hard to comprehend. Thanks perhaps to compulsory military service, few young Korean men have not experienced women in some way and when it comes to relieving sexual frustration, no punches are pulled.

This bit is wrong, and here is why. First of all, Japanese otakus shun real women because they suck, they smell, they talk too much and because most of them are fat, not because they are scary or difficult. Nothing that a good baseball bat over their empty heads could not solve. Second of all, due to compulsory military service, Korean men have probably experienced other Korean men, not women, in one way or the other, perhaps mostly when they were dropping the soap in the showers. I doubt they are sharing the army bedroom with gorgeous, horny, female cadets that would perform oral sex every five minutes. So, for trying to mislead the readers, it's Japan - Korea: 3-1.

Japan wins at the internets.

I've been a fan of Powerpuff Girls ever since I dreamt about Bubbles naked. Then I was totally amazed to find out that there is a Japanese version, as well. Little crime defenders, now with an increased dosage of moe? Sounds absolutely fabulous! Blossom, making sweet nyaa sounds? Bubbles going gaoo? Buttercup... Buttercup is actually a man in disguise, she does not count. Ok, the point is, we're gonna get a Powerpuff Girls game soon for Nintendo DS, entitled, what a surprise, Powerpuff Girls Z. Now, the only thing I can associate with this is loli porn, but I won't get high expectations.


ppg.jpg


Cock goes here.

IGN is mostly a website service dedicated to gamers. However, they have lately been spoted sticking their nose deeper and deeper in the anime phenomenon, with certain articles, reviews, free streaming episodes of various shows, and so on, and so forth. Following this trend, together with Viz Media, they will be using their online „Direct2Drive" service to bring forth the Death Note anime series onto our computers, via digital download. The first episode, which, they say, wil be a subbed version (a very good thing for those of us who hate dubs so much and who wish they were dead), will be released on May 10.


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I am not a big fan of IGN, and I sometimes question the objectivity of their game ratings. The same goes for their sister sites, Gamespot and Gamespy, all of them being part of the same network. And I am also not a big fan of Death Note, I consider this show to be nothing more than a hype. Ah well, in the end, it's all about tastes. And mine are flawless lolicious.


This is all a matter of marketing which I fully understand and approve of. In Tokyo, there is a place called Nakano Brodway Shopping Mall, that is the epicenter of all otaku activities - especially the Japanese otakus, due to the long list of stores that sell various pop culture, manga, anime, or cosplay items. Until now, the foreign shoppers were not necessarily drawn to this place, either due to it's weird location, or due to the fact that... well, foreign shoppers usually do not speak Japanese. Things are about to change, it seems, since a certain pamphlet, published in 4 different languages, started advertising the new "revamp", intended to draw gaijin otakus to their stores. In the same time, the official NB website will get a similar treatment soon.

Good news for those who liked the first episodes of Sola so far - I know my pedo comrade is one of them, and he gets a huge boner everytime he sees that little girl in the hospital bed: the official blog of the mentioned anime states that the TV series will have a grand total of 15 episodes, 13 of which will be broadcast on national television, while the last two of them will appear exclusively on the 4th and 5th DVD volumes. There is also word of a „secret" extra episode on the 5th DVD, about which I would like to speculate that contains some good old fashioned nudity. I wish.


sola.jpg

Newtype Magazine is kindly hosting a streaming trailer for Kiddy Grade 2 (about 75 seconds, they say), a trailer of the actual Pilot DVD, which is about to go on sale in Japan on the 25th May. You got your 500k resolution, and your 1MB resolution. Now all we need is the Lumiere erolutions.

Update: TVkon is back on track, so you can also view this Kiddy Grade 2 trailer there. Or pinch the nose below to play.

Kiddy Grade 2 trailer
It may actually surprise you, but some Japanese newspapers have websites. That's the case of Central Daily News, who posted some (unofficial) photos from China, which they say are location shots of the Blood: The Last Vampire, the live action adaptation of Production I.G.'s short watch. The chick there is Jun Ji-Hyunn, and her pictures appeared before in certain Chinese media - probably because she plays the lead role in this vampire thinghie. Well, I, for one, when I think about vampires, I think about Hazuki. And when I think about Hazuki, I usually get a huge boner.
According to the folks at ANN, two companies, the speech software developer, Animo, and the anime creation tool software developer Celesys, have joined forces in the hopes of creating a tool that will take good care of all the voice acting, be it in anime, or in certain video games. The said program, which uses Animo's Free Speech software, will generate all sorts of narration and dialogue lines, all according to the shameless desire of the user. Now I personally don't have a problem with this, it can probably help independent and/or amator developers in their work by drastically reducing the production fees (i.e. no more money spent on voice actors or on countless hours spent on recording, editing and two tones of coffee), but I do see this... computerization as a step towards consumerism. I'd rather have the lovely and rapeble voice of Yuko Goto whispering naughty things in my year, than a computer generated one, really. Oh well.

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