Have you ever heard of Lara Croft? Best described by her humongous, round assets, the lady in question stood as a monument for horny gamers since long as I can remember. But, as we all know, girls tend to become obsolete after passing a "certain" age (and certain exaggerated measures, in my book), so the time of Lara is quickly approaching to an end. An unhappy end, for all of you out there who got boners just watching her boobs on a daily basis. Why do I say that? Behold, Lava Kroft, the future of mankind's wanking material. A new mobile-phone game starring, as we can see, a Japanese version of the game industry's sex symbol, with smaller breasts (witch is good, actually), shorter hair, and with a red sexy dragon tattooed on her arm. Cool. I always thought that Lara Croft is a bitch that does not deserve the reputation she has. More about that, I think she is ugly, so I excitedly welcome miss Lava Kroft in our lonely, pathetic, yet full of enjoyment lives. Too bad she's not younger, though.
What's with all the up-skirt filming, I really cannot understand. Here we have another obsessed little evil mastermind, this time a school teacher (and not any teacher, mind you, but a MIDDLE school teacher) from Hanada, Aichi Prefecture (not like anybody cares where the damn lolicon is from, anyway) that received papers from the police, under the accusation of *gasp* up-skirt filming. Not only was he a teacher, but the head guidance counselor, too. No wonder he got strange (but productive) ideas like that, with all the little girls coming to his office and... well, doing this, and that, and various other things. And where is the best place to film under the skirts of little girls? Our expert in imouto-chans, Kimura-Sensei declares: The Bookstore! And to set up the perfect scene, be sure to add a very competitive guard that will bust your ass in the middle of this quite delicate operation.
Mister teacher submitted, of course, a letter of resignation from the school board, declaring that he contacted the
hobby disease of up-skirt filming after watching tons of obscene images over the Internet (I really wonder what does the word "obscene" stand for in his repertoire), and that he was trying his best to actually direct a movie, but he couldn't manage to do it because he totally sucked at it. Eh, well, mister teacher, if you ever graduate from some film director school or something, I know lots of persons that can provide you with screenplays. Very rich-in-content screenplays.
The Chinese army not only wins wars, or threatens to invade anyone who declares himself an enemy with endless waves of infantry, but it also wins trials. Without bloodshed, actually. Living in a such democratic *cough* country as China, your average toy company may find itself being legally spanked by authorities for, let's say, using images of Chinese soldiers on the packages of their toys. Toys including guns, swords and other very deadly objects. No Lolitas
, though. According to the all-free
-and-objective newspaper China Daily, a certain toy company ironically named Shenzhen Xinhe Handicraft Co. has "violated
" (this word gives me some unnaturally shrugs) the army's honor, and was fined with about 100.000 USD for sticking faces of imbecile soldiers (excuse my pleonasm) on their products. Why do I bring this to your attention? Well... This is just like wanking. Using certain images to fulfill your most intimate desires
. The company's most intimate desires being making loads of money, naturally. Now, if this is the case, then people randomly using images like these
for self-sustained orgies can be fined too. Worse, even sent to jail. In other words, wanking is punishable in China. I shall erase all my anime collection if I will ever be forced to move to China.
Your porn magazines are too old and far too familiar to give you a hard boner? No worries, matey - you can always do things like our american fellow, Tyler Engelhard, who phoned the police emergency services to report that his parents need to be arrested. Why is that? Just because the man, 21 years of age, had a VERY high level of hornyness. He actually declared to the deputy in charge, who arrived at the place of the crime - a woman - that he wanted "to see a hawt chick".
Americans are weird. And not totally sane. I recommend, in such cases, a high dose of Ichigo Mashimaro
, and voila (please notice my exquisite French), the boner is gone. After some hard and productive work. For once, I shall not provide you with too much wanking
material, because I think you people should learn to sort that out all by yourselves.
Yeah, I know this is not Japan-related, but the dude is an idiot, and idiot equals funneh.
People get busted for selling porn, nowadays. Fair, I guess. Especially if you hide 34.000 "obscene" DVD's under your underaged porn collection. The god almighty Metropolitan Police, tired of arresting rapists, serial murderers or some other innocent dudes who go against the law, have arrested 14 suspicious folks who were probably to busy wanking on their porn material. Now this is an offence punishable by death. I pitty those poor souls. Sounds just like the Romanian Police arresting old hags for taking a dump in front of the Parliament.
I, for one, am really happy that japanese laws do NOT throw you straight to jail if you posess underaged anime porn. Witch i do not posess, mind you. But still, making a big deal out of some video salesmen who tend to satisfy their own, personal, sick pleasures without hurting any Lolita seems a bit rough to me.
Angelia Smith. I'd probably name a female gnome warrior (with pink hair) like that, if I would ever start one in World of Warcraft
. In ze real life, little miss Smith is a half-breed that reached the beautiful age of 12, who will pledge for peace in the Peace Memorial Park in Hiroshima on August 6. She was chosen from a big group of 3700 sixth-grade students from Hiroshima to do this crap, as she represents a "bridge" between Japan (the nuked party) and U.S. of A. (the we-send-missles-you-are-owned party). A nice moment of the year, I must say. And a very nice moment for the damn jury who got to select miss Smith from the 3700 lolies. I really wonder how DID they use the word "trial" here. Angelia, my little gnome warrior, has dual
nationality. Daddy is some american dude that got stuck with a little kid from a japanese lady. She was obviously mocked by her fellow students early on, due to her not-so-asian (read not-so-hitable) appearance, but they were all amazed at her ability to harvest the pool of english language. She didn't have the right english teacher
, though, I bet ten anime CD's on that.
Anyway, the point is, this bitch is trying to make some fuss (yet again) about Hiroshima happenings. Like we're not living in constant fear that some american prezident will get drunk again and nuke some poor defenseless country until extintion. Read some more emotional Lolita Smith material, and how she understands the happenings of World War II, here
. I'm busy searching the Internet for a picture of her, to see if she fits in the "hitable loli" category.
Still don't belive that lolicons exist, eh? Mind you, they do, and they have a very active society. And Japan is crawling with them, actually, on a daily basis - of course, lolicons have a very good reason to exist in Japan. Hell, even a 30 years old woman (what a harsh and old word) looks like she's twelve. Back to the topic, in a certain Fukuoka prefecture (please notice that the word prefecture sounds totally loli), a post-graduate student at Kyushu University was caught and arrested for taking naughty pictures under the skirt of a little girl, in a supermarket. Or store, or whatever. The perverted fellow, who goes by the name of Yuki Shimada in the suburbs of loliness, is a lonely 26 years old guy, probably without a girlfriend for the past... 26 years. His poor victim, a 16 years old Lolita, was caught off-guard as he mindlessly penetrated her personal, under-the-skirt space, with a digital camera. Finally, japanese people are finding good use for those machines, after spending an eon taking pictures of crappy stuff like buildings, rivers, or dead people. Of course, an officer was at the scene and "overpowered" the mighty criminal. He was probably mad that Yuki refused to share the picture
The unbeliveble story of the poor guy getting caught while exercising his natural right to be a lolicon, here
This fucking series has absolutely no story. Nada. Niente. *insert a weirld language version of "none" here*. It's all about high-school, underaged chicks, lots of them, actually, one dude who gets the main role and several other non-important characters that fit well in the situation. So, what do we have here?
The bitches:Aihara Kazumi
- This chick makes me chuckle. In a very perverted way, I might add. She's a man's dream, because she sucks
fingers. And every sane male human being likes his finger sucked
- She has the best collarbones
in the entire series. And she's not afraid to show them, hehe. Though she does not posess big assets
when it comes to evolving parts of her body, Yuuki is hawt. I'd hit her, now and then. Especially when she drinks water in a sexy
Before we go any further, let me entertain you with some nice screenies. (...) Continue reading 'Today in Class 5-2 Episode 1'...
It's good to be a teacher in Japan. Every day you go to work, stalk little girls as they go change their clothes, get payed for doing that and you don't have to worry about the laws, because japanese laws are in favor of lolicons. What more do you want? And no, don't say Matsuri-Chan
, she is taken. Well, there is, it seems, a dark side of the godly job of being a teacher - just the other day one of them drowned after succesfully rescuing a 10 years old kid from a nasty, angry and anti-loli river. This reminds me of a similar issue that happened here, where I live. Some dude jumped in a river, managed to bring two kids to the shore, then heroically drowned, as he was too fucking tired to crawl out of the water. Rest in peace. At least he got a damn fucking street named after him.
Back to mister Shinichi Tomita, the teacher in question, age 46 (a perfect lolicon age, I might add) - now I don't really know if the baby victim vas a little girl or not. It probably was. Poor guy, dying at such a lovely age. I, for one, don't know how to swim, but even if I did, I would not have jumped in the damn water, unless the loli I was about to save would promise me endless pleasure. That is the difference between a teacher and me, the teacher sacrifices himself, I sacrifice myself only if I get this, and that, and various other things, in return.
An "otaku" is best described as a man who looks under the skirts of dolls
in the supermarket. Not any dolls, mind you. I mean, a real otaku will find no sexual pleasure in stalking Barbie's
ass, tits or underwear. She is totally unatractive. Japan has developed a large, serious and strong otaku community - large groups of human beings devoted to wanking on the likes of Miharu-Chan
and other perfect
female anime characters. Oh, well, that's the male version of the story.
Since we live in a cvasi-democratic world, where woman rights have reached new hights, female otakus in Japan received a preety little present from a smart and horny little yellow businessman, a present called Secret Otaku Support Commission - for bitches who know they are otakus, but refuse to share their little secret to the world. An agency exclusive oriented to the female clientele, Secret Otaku Support Commission charges a high prices for otaku chicks, sending them out in the city, to do karaoke, drink loads of booze, masturbate in front of pictures of Fukuyama-San
and talk different otaku issues. The price is expensive, but if you're a hawt, japanese, underaged otaku chick and you have the right money, mister Seiichi Hirokawa, the one in charge of this organisation, will take care of you. I would do it for free, though. Maybe charging some oral sex.
Hirokawa's Secret Otaku Support Commission requires female otaku with a yen to meet their own kind to look up its website and select a companion they think is most fit. For a charge of 12,000 yen per 2 1/2-hour session (and an additional 3,000 yen for every additional 30 minutes on top of that), the commission will send out a female otaku to cafes, family restaurants karaoke boxes and the like in Tokyo and neighboring prefectures so she can chat about otaku issues with other gals.
Good business. If i would live in Japan, i'd hit it. Read this very interesting otaku goodness, here
2958 votesRin Kaga
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