In your endless wanking sessions, you must have passed by Dokuro-chan. You know, a small, cute, blue-haired angel, with a club that hits really hard. With spikes. You have a serious pedophile that will invent, when he grows up, some stuff that turns all women into little girls (hence, making them worthwhile), you have your imouto-like angel, you have your dose of great comedy, hell, that show is probably the only one I’ve watched hundreds of times without getting bored (of fapping on the same chick). And I still am. And yes, listening to a song that emphasizes on pipirupipirupi is something to be noted. The point is, it will have a sequel. Soon. So be prepared for some club-bashing.

A grave battle is being fought as we speak on lolitron, the outcome of which is to decide who is “the most lolilicious loli in recent times (~2005 and forward)”. Dozens upon dozens of flat-chested lolis have been competing ever since this year began, and after today’s duel, the loli battle will enter its final round of confrontations.

Shamefully, though, the whole thing has been compromised by all sorts of crazed fanboys and desu-tards, whose reckless votings have led to the premature ejaculation ejection of such undeniable lolis as Choco, Aruru, Rika or, most tragically, *ALL* of the Ichigo Mashimaro girlies!


At the very least, Hazuki and Shana have reached the finals, and even though they won’t be able to fight it out for the throne (one has to go in the semis), odds are one of them tsunderes will win the whole thing. If there’s any loli justice left in this world…

Back on March 1st, GungHo Online Entertainment let us on a little secret: they are developing a MMORPG (oh brother, not another one), based on the old, yet famous, manga series Hokuto no Ken (Fist of The North Star). Around 3000 players are expected to join up the beta test, throw away their lives from 22nd to 26th March, and immerse themselves in this exotic world, kicking buts, grinding for XP, ninja looting, corpse camping and other constructive MMO-ish activities one has learned to take via the internets.

About Hokuto no Ken, it appeared for the first time about 24 years ago in “Weekly Shonen Jump”, and has inspired lots of alternative animes, video games and other related thinghies. I, myself, have only seen one of them, don’t really remember the title. But, boy, do I remember the carnage… Something about exploding brains and intestines, really neat.

Oh, the loveble seiyuus. What wouldn’t I give to meet some of them in person, and do naughty things to them. Well, it was about time for such a ceremony – Japan’s first Seiyuu Awards have been decided, on March 3rd in Akihabara. Thanks to ANN, we get a detailed list of the winners, as follows:

Best Actor in a leading role:
Jun Fukuyama as Lelouch, Code Geass - Lelouch of the Rebellion

Best Actress in a leading role:
Romi Paku as Nana Osaki, NANA

Best Actors in supporting roles:
Akira Ishida as Athrun Zala, Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny
Kouki Miyata as Kazumi Yoshinaga, Yoshinaga-san’chi no Gargoyle

Best Actresses in supporting roles:
Ami Koshimizu as Kallen Stadtfeld, Code Geass - Lelouch of the Rebellion
Yuko Goto as Mikuru Asahina, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Best Rookie actors:
Tetsuya Kakihara as Mikoto Yutaka, Princess Princess
Masakazu Moritaas Ichigo Kurosaki, Bleach

Best Rookie actresses:
Yui Kano as Momoko Kuzuryu, Sumomomo Momomo
Aya Hirano as Haruhi Suzumiya, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Best Musical Performance:
Nana Mizuki, Justice to Believe

Best Personality:
Masumi Asano, A&G Super Radio Show - Anispa!

Special Achievement Award: Kei Tomiyama

Achievement Awards:
Toru Ohira, Ohira Production
Masako Ikeda, Tokyo Actor’s Consumer’s Cooperative Society (Haikyo)
Noriko Ohara, Production baobab
Mariko Mukai, 81 Produce

Synergy Award: Pokémon

One can find many uses for a good manga, even one as dull as… well, enjoy reading it. But commercial minds are at work everywere, so it’s no wonder that, sooner or later, we get stuff like FOOD TOIPE out on the market. This, my loli friends, is a brand-new new brand of toilet paper. And not any kind of toilet paper, mind you, but a smooth and reliable one, with guaranteed, comfortable ass-whipping success, combined with four-frame manga illustrations by none other than Yaku Mitsuru. Released on March 2nd by Hayashi Paper (for a mere 200 Yen a roll), this piece of goodness can be found at a toilet near you, allowing you to enjoy a good dump and a good reading, in the oh-so-delightful privacy of a manga-filled restroom.


Be sure to read first, wipe after. It’s easier this way.

The new Paprika trailer released by Sony Pictures has got to be this week’s most impressive (though ironically non-lolicious) trailer, revealing even more mind-bending scenes from Satoshi Kon’s latest animated movie. That would be the same guy that brought us Pefect Blue and Paranoia Agent, so… yeah, better have some joints and/or plenty of booze at hand while watching this. The premiere is set for May 25, by the way.

Paprika US trailer

And here are the rest of this week’s trailers from our imouto web-chan TVkon, including the first teaser for the Appleseed 2 (Appleseed: Ex Machina) CG animated movie sequel produced by John Woo, a new Ikkitousen Dragon Destiny trailer, and some others you might find interesting:

Gaming
- MySims Wii, DS trailer
- D.Gray-man DS trailer

Anime
- Ikkitousen Dragon Destiny trailer #2
- Moonlight Mile special preview
- Today in Class 5-2 promo AMV
- Project ICE trailer
- Aquarion OVA trailer
- Tales of Symphonia OVA trailer
- Appleseed 2 teaser
- Paprika US trailer

Last night, Choco-chan came to my place while I was half asleep, carrying a box full of little girl’s underwear in one hand, and pictures with her naked in the other. She asked me to be her friend, and promised me that she will be obedient, will do whatever I command her to do, will call me onii-chan and will perform oral sex to me countless times, daily. Then, sadly, I woke up.
Now, with this dream in mind, I find the results of Ranking Japan’s survey pretty awkward. The guys there conducted a poll on a group of 200 manly users (with age varying from 20 to 30), about the one anime character that they would like to have as their friend. Strangely enough, their choices are as follows:

1: Doraemon (Doraemon)
2: Lupin (Lupin the 3rd)
3: Conan (Meitantei Conan/Case Closed)
4: Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro)
5: Son Goku (Dragon Ball)
6: Asakura Minami (Touch)
7: Sergeant Keroro (Sergeant Keroro/Sergeant Frog)
8: Lum (Urusei Yatsura)
9: Ayanami Rei (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
10: Ryou-san (Kochira Katsushika-ku Kamearikouen-mae Hashutsujo/This is the Police Station in Front of Kameari Park in Katsushika Ward)

Wanting a spooky robotic cat as your best friend, over any anime lolita troubles me, as I start questioning the Japanese people’s sexual orientation.

After previously delaying it’s launch, Geneon stated recently that their Hellsing Ultimate and Hellsing Ultimate Limited Edition (volume 2) will actually see the light of the day (and probably the yucky inside of a PC near you) somewere around June 12th. This year. However, according to ANN, this is only an “early solicitation date”, not the official release plans – and due to this, it may change as quickly as Geneon can change their panties. Eh, well, at least fans know now when this baby is coming out. At least, in theory.

Coming from the universe of Suzumiya Haruhi – The Madness Within, is yet another piece of fascinating news. Japanese actress Sawai Maho who, incidentally, owns a blog that is plundered with no remorse by her avid fans, mentioned on February 23rd something about a possible live action drama adaptation, that will begin filming next week. The said damsel is to play the role of Ryoko Asakura, the bitch-like humanoid interface that tries to stab Kyon with a knife, after he manly refuses to rape her pretty ass in the classroom. Rumors started late last year about a 6 episode TV drama that was supposed to start airing this summer, but they were quickly retracted and stamped as pure speculation. Of course, the official word on this is yet to confirm, nor deny it, so I wonder just how many faps per day are the Suzumiya fanboys doing, thinking about this movie.

Last year we mentioned about a certain Clannad lovu-lovu game being animated into a feature length movie, by Toei Animation. That much is still true, but ANN has a few more lolicious details about it. Nevermind that the movie will premiere in Japan this summer - what really caught my eye is the following bit:

“The original game was released under the “Key” brand, who also developed the popular dating sims Kanon and Air. Dezaki Osamu will direct the film. Character designs will be done by Kadonosono Megumi, who also worked on the series Kiddy Grade.“

Kiddy Grade, you don’t say… As in, that same Kiddy Grade that’s getting a sequel? Well, don’t mind if I drool right about now. Especially considering that the Clannad game was released under the same brand as Air and Kanon, and Toei’s team of animators recently delighted us with the oh-so-moe slice-of-life anime Binbou Shimai Monogatari. What more could you ask for? How about a pink umbrella?