... Or when mind and stomach work together for the benefit of mankind. Sunrise, the animation studio behind the loli hit Mai Otome, and Cure Maid Café, based where else but in the Akihabara district, the holy shrine of otakus all over the world, made a deal to promote special bentos and other delicious (and pedolicious) products, based on some specific anime intellectual proprieties. This glorious collaboration will take place in February, being split in two phases. First, between the 9th and the 18th, the said café will offer a wide variety of Mai Hime/Mai Otome panties and free porn food and drinks – who wouldn’t want to get his trembling hands on some of Mai’s Handmade Ramen (after thoroughly checking the size of her cups), or get completely wasted pouring down his stomach large quantities of Commodore Armitage’s Spirit Drink? The second phase will take place between February 23rd and March 4th and will include Ryosuke Takahashi’s Votoms, plus some related weird items. Sounds pretty good. I would certainly want to try some of them naturist and freshly baked Natsuki-chan products. Hell yea.

While this is trying to be a promotional campaign that supports safe sex (although I would pretty much require one that emphasizes on surprise sex), I am guessing it’s going to turn bad. Why? Because Okomoto Industries plans to launch a series of condoms (yes, that thing you usually lie about putting on), based on Aki Kondou’s famous bear character, Rilakkuma. Yes, you’ve heard me right. Men will now be able to prove their godly sexual potency, proudly wearing a bear on their Kami-sama. Women, on the other hand, have a thing for this happy hippy, especially those in their 10’s – 40’s. Or so they say, I actually never tend to ask a woman about how, where or how much she fantasizes with wild animals. Beginning this Wednesday, you can start searching the stores for your pink rubbers, at the low price of 1050 Yen per box. Okomoto actually hopes to make 100 milion Yen worth of sales in the first year.


I bet you’d hit that.

Never expected licensing anime would be so pricey – but it seems it actually is. According to some info gathered at INikkei BP Anime Business Forum (Japan), to localize, and furthermore, distribute a TV series in the US of A in the current fiscal year would require you to spend around 20.000 USD per episode. On average. These numbers have been growing over the past few years, even more than a little sister would grow while exposed to alien, mass onee-chans-producing, radiations. At first, when the anime phenomenon stroke the valiant American distributors, the price ranged for about a couple of thousands bucks per episode. Somewere in the mid 1990, the price went up like a healthy erection caused by the loli Ichijo sisters, especially when Evangelion stroke. Later, Cimpokomon would receive no less than 40000 USD per episode, and now, some of the most hyped and shitty appreciated shows are having a nice income of $80K or more, depending on the contract and on the jewishness of the guys who barter for it. And they whine that anime is not profitable.

Now it would be a good time to say that IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!

We sure do like cosplay. Lots of it. And if it’s about some Choco-chan cosplay when she comes out of a present box, we’re drooling already. Well, The World Cosplay Summit takes place in Japan (ORLY?), once every year, and this time, we have 11 countries that are throwing their lolitas in the contest, hoping to grab the big time award. As some of you know, last year, the newly participating team from Brazil actually won the contest (I don’t really know how, nor do I want to know how – it probably involved some brazilian lapdancing for the elderly jury), and in 2007, two more countries seem to be prepared to enter the Dark Portal of Cosplaying. One of them is Mexico, and the other – yet unannounced. We are looking forward to see the innocent participants naked. I mean cosplaying.

So many shows to watch, so little time left. I must somehow make myself a schedule, combining the precious time I dedicate to certain hedonistic activities (mindblowing booze hardcore testing, walking like a total retard and acomplishing absolutely nothing in the lands of Gayzeroth, or, why not, actually working at my desk for a total of eight hours a day), with the godly spare moments i can dedicate to watching anime. The times when I was able to do anime multisessions for two or three days straight, without even getting some sleep, are long gone… And much to my displeasure, it seems that producers are not stopping on my account. They just keep announcing them, releasing them, and making my life a bitch. Ah well, no need to whine about it - at least they keep on cumming coming. So, here it goes:

“Tales of Symphonia” will be a 4 episode OVA, inspired from Namco’s Gamecube RPG, and, guess what, it will go on sale in Japan on June 8th. For those of you interested, there are two trailers floating about, one in “narrowband” and the other in “broadband” resolution. The trailer depicts a flower, some combat, and no little girls. Shame.

News from Toei Animation too, those hard working, loli lovers have big plans to produce a “fifth” series for Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro, after they published the previous four in 1968, 1971, 1985 and 1996. If this gets to follow in One Piece’s footsteps, with OVER NINE THOUSAND sequels, it’s going to get messy.

Shochiku has in mind to blow the public away at the Berlin Film Festival, proposing three new Japanese anime titles that will screen in Germany at that time. “Summer Days with Coo”, directed by Keiichi Hara (the dude behind Crayon Shin-Chan), “Vexille”, some sci-fi thinghie from Fumihiko Sori, also known for his production of Appleseed, and “The Country Doctor”, the latest piece of crap animation from Koji Yamamura, who once got (accidentally) nominated for Oscar.

Those of you eagerly awaiting the release of the third Hellsing OVA, will have to turn down the caffeine level a bit, because, according to this “News and Info” section of the Japanese official Hellsing website, the production is way behind schedule, and the team responsible for it cannot respect their before mentioned deadline. So there you go, from a February 9th debut, the OVA is being pushed forward until sometime… later this year. A big Hellsing fanboy, eh? Go cry some more in the corner. Vampire hunters should get a life, and a girlfriend to top that.

It is a happy day for Canadians, yes, indeed. The time for them to bask in the glory of what we call anime has finally come. Canadian site Zannen reports that the Canadian Radio Television and Telecommunications Commission (Jesus Christ, that’s a freaking long and disturbing name) has approved YTV’s application to create a brand new network, entitled “The Anime Channel”, network targeted, apparently, to adults over the age of 18 and beyond. Smells like lots of ero shows to me. Part of the deal was for YTV to broadcast at least 65% worth of anime material, and up to 35% of other anime related content (with suggestions coming from Animekon, pointing at school girl uniforms, pink underwear and tons of swimsuits). The same website also noticed that G4TechTV will broadcast several Geneon titles across Canada, shows like Tenjho Tenge, GunxSword, or Trigun. It seems like the broadcast for Tenjo Tenge has already begun, actually. Terrence and Philip will now have new wanking material.

One Japanese multimedia site, Anime BB, hosts the first episode of the upcoming Reideen series. Free for online viewing, of course. The episode in question is DRM encoded, so it requires for you to have a version of Windows Media Player installed on your porn temple computer, in order to view it. Tough luck. The said show will premier on the WOWOW TV network somewere around March 3rd, and we are eagerly NOT expecting it.

This show will be amazing, and I can't wait to get my hands on it. Until then, though, all I can do is re-watch the trailer over and over again, and, starting today, looking at some nifty screenshots from Cinema Today. The guys there managed somehow to get their hands on these images, and, as you can see, they look sensational.

If you didn’t get the chance to watch Azumanga Daioh when you had to, then screw you. Thankfully, Gyao’s Bandai Channel is hosting 13 episodes of this great comedy show online, free of all charge, giving you the holy right of repentance. We will still be considering you a complete retard, with the lack of the most basic pedolicious subculture – but hey, that’s just us. Japanese language only, so dub lovers, go flurp your dubbed fluids somewere else please.


Mega-Spoilers: Yukari-sensei is still the hottest english teacher that has ever set foot in Japan, and Kimura-sensei is still my pedo hero. And Tomo-chan still scares the shit out of me.