A worker at a building in Tokyo finally met his doom, after plunging like a blind horse full of sedatives into an open elevator shaft, supposedly believing that the said elevator has already arrived. Ok, now this is just something I cannot and will not belive, unless I would be bribed or blackmailed. There are certain theories that I would like to share with you about the common “oh dear, I stepped in an eight-story elevator, but, oops, it wasn’t there yet” happenings. Because it happens a lot.

1. The man was totally wasted. Working in constructions tends to push people towards more… hedonistic activities, such as soaking their brains in alcohol, getting their heads in a half-filled barrel of cocaine or smoking pots until the famous pink little dots (in certain cases, famous little anime chicks) turn into Jan-Claude Van Damme wearing a tutu and dancing happily on WMCA.

2. The man committed suicide. Life is hard, no doubt about it. The family is poor, the tiny Japanese geisha wife cheats his ass with his twenty-five best friends, and his little girl that just turned 12 has signed an exclusivity contract with Hustler’s most horny males.

3. The man was murdered. As in, pushed. By whom, it does not really matter, but a number of kick-ass motives can always be found, in such a busy little town like Tokyo. For once, there could be a big fortune the guy inherited from his late grandma, of witch he had absolutely no idea it existed. Angry mobs of relatives, mad on his good fortune, marched stealthed to his working place, making sure that he would sign his testament of good will and faith, before raping him and throwing him in the elevator shaft.

Enough ranting. What am I trying to say is that is NEARLY impossible for one to fall to death, just like that, without any viable explanation. I am imagining him, right now in Purgatory, being asked by some random pink diety how did he manage to perform such an astounding act of bravery. His answer? “I had lag, lolz.”

This is freaking awsome. And no, it does not involve any underaged anime chick whatsoever. I’ve just found a neat japanese commercial for God Hand, a video game scheduled for release somewere in October for PS2. This is the second asian commercial related to games I’ve seen (and enjoyed), next to the "Coca Cola World of Warcraft asian teens dressed up like hawt elven chicks". This proves to me that God’s (right) Hand doesn’t do wanking all day long.

Clickie for the hilarious thinghy.

Legal status in Hungary
According to the latest definition of the act (Law 1997/LXXIII., Penal Code 195/A. §), "Production of Forbidden Pornography" is only forbidden if an underage person actually suffered through the production process. Due to this, any sort of graphics that were produced without using actual live models, or those using live models that were not sexually abused is legal. (Similarly it is legal if the resulting graphics is not original but a derivative of two or more pictures, in where the original picture of the underage person contains no matter violating the above paragraph of the Code. It does not need to bear any express label that the material was produced by any of those methods; and it is the task of the State to prove guilty, not of the defendant to prove innocent, which, with the recent developments in computer graphics, might be a burdensome if not impossible task.)

The Supreme Court of the United States decided in 2002, and affirmed in 2004, that previous prohibition of simulated child pornography under the Child Pornography Prevention Act of 1996 was unconstitutional. (...) On 30 April 2003, President George W. Bush signed into law the PROTECT Act of 2003 (also dubbed the Amber Alert Law) which again criminalizes simulated child pornography.

We interrupt this loli program to bring you a special, much appreciated feature in our lands of lore – booze. Yes, the pure, delightful, alcoholic beverages that bring up sparks of joy and happiness in any sane human’s life. Seems like Japanese people enjoy this little bachic goodness too, since their (beautiful and full of lolitas) country is world’s number six biggest beer consumer, and, of course, Asia’s finest drunken bunch of weirdos. It is said that, back in the samurai days (samurai = devoted male specimens who would valiantly commit hara kiri if they would fail to hit on a little girl), beer was something of a tabu amongst the average folk, considered by many to be a strange liquid brewed in some of the foreigner enclaves on Japan territory. But, alas, that was about to change in the late 1800’s when the little yellow people became curious about other stuff than their own and started absorbing other cultures, just like an anime freak would absorb delightful obscene videos of naked Miharu-Chan. Cherishing beer like some sort of a demi-god imported from Western countries (along with diseases, murderers, rapists, thieves and other categories us Europeans excel at), the government even set up its own brewery somewere in 1876. With the help of German drunktards brewmasters, of course. Beer is now treated in Japan even higher than their own national, strange, fluid, the one and only sake (witch, I must say, has quite a low concentration of alcohol for my corrupted and disoriented taste), but still, it is not treated as high as lolitas. Or at least we hope so.

Thus endeth the “Japanese people are a bunch of drunks” history lesson. Now you can leave this site more enlightened than ever.

Have you ever heard of Lara Croft? Best described by her humongous, round assets, the lady in question stood as a monument for horny gamers since long as I can remember. But, as we all know, girls tend to become obsolete after passing a “certain” age (and certain exaggerated measures, in my book), so the time of Lara is quickly approaching to an end. An unhappy end, for all of you out there who got boners just watching her boobs on a daily basis. Why do I say that? Behold, Lava Kroft, the future of mankind's wanking material. A new mobile-phone game starring, as we can see, a Japanese version of the game industry’s sex symbol, with smaller breasts (witch is good, actually), shorter hair, and with a red sexy dragon tattooed on her arm. Cool. I always thought that Lara Croft is a bitch that does not deserve the reputation she has. More about that, I think she is ugly, so I excitedly welcome miss Lava Kroft in our lonely, pathetic, yet full of enjoyment lives. Too bad she’s not younger, though.

What’s with all the up-skirt filming, I really cannot understand. Here we have another obsessed little evil mastermind, this time a school teacher (and not any teacher, mind you, but a MIDDLE school teacher) from Hanada, Aichi Prefecture (not like anybody cares where the damn lolicon is from, anyway) that received papers from the police, under the accusation of *gasp* up-skirt filming. Not only was he a teacher, but the head guidance counselor, too. No wonder he got strange (but productive) ideas like that, with all the little girls coming to his office and… well, doing this, and that, and various other things. And where is the best place to film under the skirts of little girls? Our expert in imouto-chans, Kimura-Sensei declares: The Bookstore! And to set up the perfect scene, be sure to add a very competitive guard that will bust your ass in the middle of this quite delicate operation.

Mister teacher submitted, of course, a letter of resignation from the school board, declaring that he contacted the hobby disease of up-skirt filming after watching tons of obscene images over the Internet (I really wonder what does the word “obscene” stand for in his repertoire), and that he was trying his best to actually direct a movie, but he couldn’t manage to do it because he totally sucked at it. Eh, well, mister teacher, if you ever graduate from some film director school or something, I know lots of persons that can provide you with screenplays. Very rich-in-content screenplays.

Ganbate-nya, teacher-sensei!