When I first heard that folks got injured while playing with their Wii, I thought to myself: what kind of retarded individual does it take to actually cut off his leg, break his neck or suffer from instant dihareea from just toying with the Wiimote? I've got my fair share of... Wii experience, almost busted a friend's TV plasma set once, but that was because I was so wasted I couldn't even spell "loli", and I can tell you it's *almost* impossible to get hurt. Oh well, I guess some are more clumsy than others.

Why mentioning the Wii? Because it seems Japanese manufacturers just love to get themselves into these sorts of troubles - recently, an arcade game called Arm Spirit, who would challenge you to an arm wrestling contest, was retracted from the market after reports of 3 individuals breaking their arms while using it came in. The machine's producer is naturally astounded:

"The machine isn't that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it."

That's exactly like saying: "If those idiots couldn't handle the Arm Spirit, they deserved it. Nyah-nyah". But if that is true and the machine itself fights like a baby girl, then I must repeat my question: How the hell can you fucking break your arm like that? It's not that easy to break an arm, you know. One must put passion into the process.

Via BBC

If you want your quality time with the toilet improved, then take heed at what Sony is doing these days, no far than Leipzig, at this year's Game Convention. Requirements are as follows:

1. You need to be taking a serious dump.
2. You need to enjoy Playstation consoles AND to not have any real or social life at all.
3. You must spend at least 30 minutes taking that dump. This is required both for rectal enjoyment and for getting to the first checkpoint in any game.


I'd personally switch the console with some loli porn, for even greater enjoyment. Some random psycho might actually prefer the traditional newspaper, for some sick and perverted reasons.

Via the same source mentioned earlier, I came across another demo, for a game that should also be released next month at the summer Comiket. And the title pretty much says it all: Suzumiya Haruhi no chourantou (The Super-fight of Suzumiya Haruhi?... I'm partially guessing here), made by souvenir circ.

The good news is that this demo does include more characters - namely Haruhi, Mikuru and Yuki - but the bad news is that it's not actually a playable demo. You just run it, sit back and enjoy the fight. And maybe take some screenies, like I did:


And then some more... (...)

 Continue reading 'Suzumiya Haruhi no chourantou Demo'...

Today's speciality is pew-pew loli, best served underaged and with a magical broomstick (or whatever else you might fancy) squeezed between her legs. Add to that the fact that she looks a lot like Ana-chan from Ichigo Mashimaro, and Becky from Pani Poni Dash put together (now there's a scenario that delivers!), and you get one pretty damn hot pew-pew loli!

This is just one of the characters available in Studio Siesta's upcoming arcade shooter Trouble Witches, but sadly the only one included in the demo they offer to prospective fappers buyers. It's a 100'ish MB download (direct link), so you should have it up and running soon enough. As long as you manage to get past the installation, that is.

And here are some screenies from the demo.


Wall of kanji crits me for over 9000 damage! (...)

 Continue reading 'Trouble Witches Demo'...

Little girls seem to be targeted more and more these days, not only by your fair share of lolicons, but by game developers, too. Ubisoft has discovered a new market for their titles - a market that we appreciate - and decided to create a new brand, called Imagine, aimed (what a twisted way to put it) at girls aged between 6 and 14. Purrrfect. "Extensive lifestyle research" was needed for Pedobear to approve of this, and the result is a plethora of DS games, marketed towards all sorts of hobbies, activities, and various other things that little girls indulge themselves in. Head over to Gamespot for a comprehensive and detailed list. They seem to give a shit, after all.

New figures from magazine publisher Enterbrain have confirmed that the Nintendo Wii continues to be the best-selling home console in Japan, outdoing PlayStation 3 by a ratio of 6 to 1.
As reported by Reuters, 270,974 Wii units were sold in the month of June.
Sony shifted 41,628 PS3 consoles, while Microsoft was in third place with 17,616 units sold.
The new figures show there's no sign of the Nintendo's momentum waning - the ratio of Wiis to PS3s sold was 4 to 1 in April, increasing to 5 to 1 the following month.
Nintendo is also enjoying continued success with the DS. According to Media Create figures, just under 164,000 DS units were sold during the week ending June 24 - more than all other consoles combined.

Sony did a marvelous job at fucking things up when it comes to PS3 marketing. I don't know how they managed it, but sometimes, it looks like it was intended. Racist commercials, Jesus commercials, hell, if they had thrown a loli commercial between those two, it would have been a blast. Nintendo is doing what they always did, being great. I love that company.

If someone is going to say that Suzumiya Haruhi is *NOT* a milk cow, I will shoot him in the eyes with my special ASOS Brigade panties dispenser. Not only was it announced, sometime ago, that Sony's PSP will benefit from a video game based on this over-hyped series, now it seems that even the older console products, such as the PS2, will be able to participate in the monster madness yet to come.

The game, cleverly entitled Suzumiya Haruhi no Tomadō (The Bewilderment of Haruhi Suzumiya), will be released somewhere in January next year, and will feature a full sized "Ultra Hero" demented Haruhi, all dressed in a fantasy outfit and ready to chop off boners wherever needed. Some would say this approach is a parody towards them JRPG games. Some others are sure that the game will suck ass. We'll just wait and see - and also hope, for the sake of all lolicons out there, that Yuki is a playable character.

San Diego, California, Tuesday, June 26, 2007 - JAST USA affiliate brand G-Collections, the leading publisher of Japanese PC dating-sim games in English, today announced the acquisition and beginning of development for Amorous Professor Cherry, an adult-oriented bishoujo ("beautiful girl") PC game from Japanese maker ZyX scheduled for release to the English language market.
Amorous Professor Cherry is in the initial phase of development and is expected to see release in late 2007 or early 2008, and is now available for preorder at JAST USA (http://jastusa.com/) with rollout to other retailers coming soon. Further game information is available at the official JAST USA website as well.

I’m pointing this out not as much for the game itself, but for the website. I bet many of you people are just dying to finger some virtual lolitas in a nice and safe environment, but you are finding it hard to fulfill your inner desires with all those Japanese walls of text critting you for OVER NINE THOUSAND. This website looks just like a good place to start funding your new bishoujo games collection – all in a clean, good ol’ engrish language.

I’m a bit behind the news with this one – I spotted it last week, but I was probably too drunk to post it myself. Being a proud owner of a Nintendo DS (so far, I only have the black version, but my hopes are getting high for a pink DS soon), any anime related game tends to give me the bumps. The girls over at Eurogamer pointed out towards Fullmetal Alchemist: Dual Sympathy, a game that will be released in almost all parts of Europe somewhere in August. Epixx touch screen controls and all the other related imba shit. Some screenies on the said gaming site.

I hope Winry likes to play with that DS Stylus.

One of the few sane reasons to buy an Xbox 360 console (other than Dead or Alive Xtreme 2, of course) was ADV Films' recent announcement that they will be providing anime TV series and full-length movies for download over the Xbox Live Video Marketplace service. Now, via Gamespot, we find out that two more anime channels are teaming up with Microsoft - and they're no small fries either: FUNimation and Geneon!

"FUNimation will be releasing episodes from the epic adventure series Samurai 7 onto the network, along with other titles including Trinity Blood, Gunslinger Girl, and Basilisk. Geneon Entertainment will be adding games including the US HD debut of classic Akira, along with Gun Sword, Last Exile, Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo, and Lupin the 3rd."

A pretty decent line-up, all things considered (it could've been a lot worse!). But it definitely needs moar desu.